Dad Calls
He doesn't call often enough, but when he calls twice and hangs up each time, you do a wellness check no matter what you're doing.
My hubby walked out the door to work and I was sitting on the toilet dealing with diarrhea from the effect of being on this diet (that I have now lost 60 pounds — may they never come back to haunt my soul).
Phone rings once and it’s Dad. I’ll just call him later when I’m off the toilet.
Phone rings again and it’s Dad. This time, my mind races. It was only a couple of months ago that he was at the countryside place and had fallen by a mis-step on a concrete sidewalk — and like any country-boy that’s a tough wrangler, he managed to get into his truck and drive 50 miles to the city. He had said then, if it had been his right hip, he couldn’t have done it because he’d have to push across the seat. With the left hip, he lifted it into the car.
Now this man had also been working as a Captain in a MASH unit in Vietnam. He’s seen a lot and cared for a lot of folks that looked in poor shape coming in. (I once asked him if the show MASH had any resemblance to the life at his MASH unit. He said yes; it brought back some of the fun times that they had there amidst the war.
Now, back to the phone call.
He was still in rehabilitation and walking with a walker and texting me updates. It was cute. Even when he was going through a cancer on his neck, he would be updating me and my siblings and we were all encouraging him to have faith — and faith he had a lot of because (short story) he overcame that cancer and has been cancer free for more than 5 years now — and now he’s 90 years old.
I give. Still on the toilet… “Daddy, Daddy, are you okay????”
And we went through a scenario of “who’s on first comedy” where he kept hollering, “Hello?? Is anyone there? Hello???” and finally he sighed and said, “Wait a moment. I have to put my ears on! … (time lapses and I’m keep saying, Daddy, are you still there? I have no idea where he had to go get his ears) … okay, I’m back!”
I had a sense of relief and the immediate need of knowing, “Daddy, are you okay?” He immediately insisted that he had texted me and not called me, but added, “I’m okay. How are you?”
Well, that was a door opened that came at an appropriate time in my life when so many hardships and struggles have been in happening in 2025, but I just couldn’t have that conversation on the toilet. I told him “I’m okay. Maybe we’ll just talk about it on Thanksgiving.” (I never admitted to him that I was on the toilet but I almost gave it away by trying to Facetime connect when he didn’t get back right away.)
“Oh, I forgot,” today is Grandma’s birthday. I told him, “I know. I’ve been feeling off, too. How are you?” He said he was okay and wanted to remind me. I think he actually was having a “moment”. A momentary moment being alone — he was the only person alive when he is 90 years old from his origin family and I think he and I shared an extra closeness to Grandma Jewel. My Mom is also 90 years old and in a nursing home. It’s a lot to think about when you are at any stage of life — but especially at his age and Thanksgiving was coming upon us.
We talked a great bit and I reminded him (still not revealing that I’m still on the toilet) that I’d call him later.
From the bouts of diarrhea that I had just prior the call, I got the chills, which made me sleepy. When I woke up, I decided not to tell him what was happening with my life, and I’d send him one of my lengthy emails. While he’s the type of person that sends me one-liner responses to emails all my life (even if I’ve written novelettes for emails). He’s often a quiet but super sharp and Mensa type of person, but I’ve seen him hopping and socializing in the right environment.
My mother will sometimes call, and say, “How are you?” in the tone that parents know that something is up and you better spill the beans. I’m guessing either Mother told him to call me soon (because she has a hard time with the phone in the nursing room) or he’s developing that sense.
I did what any good daughter would do — spilt the beans late last night.
I’m not expecting anything more than a one liner from him, if I get an email back. Hopefully, he’ll have some ideas for my getting out of this chaos mess that started last year and how to get my business moving along.
My thoughts are, as we approach this Thanksgiving, be prepared for family members to not have their ears on and/or having their moments being reflective upon their life journey (90 years or not).
I’ve got a plan to tie Grandma into our Thanksgiving mealtime. I haven’t explained it fully to my hubby; however, he is a co-conspirator when he doesn’t even know it. I like it like that. :)
Grandma will be with us in spirit on Thanksgiving.
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